Maid of honor duties: what to expect

The Maid of Honor Duties are very important. It’s one of the most important roles in a wedding, and we will explore the reasons for this post.

Maid of Honor Duties Explained

Although I am just a wedding officiant, I have observed in detail the different ways that weddings work and the roles and responsibilities of each person. As I’ve shared in other posts, the wedding is not just one event and certainly not one day. The wedding begins when the first wedding event occurs and ends when the last wedding event occurs. For example, the first wedding event is typically the wedding shower or engagement party; the last event is the honeymoon; the conclusion is when the couple sends out thank you cards.

The Maid of Honor is one of the most important roles in the wedding because of the tasks she will perform and the emotional and spiritual support she will provide. The Maid of Honor does not really have a chance to kick back and relax for any of the wedding events. She will likely help to plan or organize the wedding shower or engagement party. She will also likely attend and help to host the dress fitting.

She will be present for the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner and will likely plan to say a few words at the dinner. She will have some presence if not stay with the bride the night before the wedding for support and preparation. She will be ready on the wedding morning to help with dress, photos, coffee, makeup (even with professionals), and anything else that comes to mind. She will stand beside the bride during the wedding, and then give a speech at the reception.

More Maid of Honor Duties

This is just a part of the Maid of Honor duties because as much event planning will take place there will be at least the same amount of spiritual and emotional support as well. The Maid of Honor duties include comforting the bride and offering compassion through all of the ups and downs of wedding planning including financial issues, logistic issues, and the extraordinary amount of booking, hiring, and communicating.

Even with a hired wedding planner or coordinator, there is still more support needed to just be a friend when needed and to offer words of encouragement that will help the bride and groom and wedding party feel good about the upcoming wedding experience.

The Maid of Honor, in addition to all of this, should think about giving gifts and writing notes. One great way to encourage the bride and the wedding party is to write notes that they can read at any time. It’s a great thing to offer a verbal word of encouragement, but when someone can put a written word of encouragement in a visible place and remind themselves that they are loved and cared for at any time there is a certain special element to that as well. Here are a few of the maid of honor duties that you will find listed by the event type:

Maid of Honor Duties at the Wedding Shower

The wedding shower is one place where the Maid of Honor shines in her Maid of Honor duties. It’s also where she might find the most work in one day. The Maid of Honor duties at the wedding shower include everything from planning the day with games, food, and giving words of encouragement to collecting gifts and making the bride feel special.

It may include figuring out the food options and inviting the guest list according to the bride’s preferences. And in addition to all of this, the Maid of Honor duties include helping everyone to have fun!

The Rehearsal Dinner

The rehearsal dinner doesn’t provide a long list of responsibilities for the Maid of Honor, but at the same time, it’s a place where she should be. The one responsibility to speak of is perhaps saying a few words. This isn’t to the extent of the speech given at the reception but there may be a place to just say a few words about the couple. Think about this as an opportunity to introduce the bride and couple. Don’t make it about you or even your experience but instead think about something you can share with the rest of the attendees to help you know one another better.

Wedding Day

On the wedding day, the Maid of Honor duties are plentiful. They begin first thing in the morning by checking in with the bride and ensuring that she is feeling good. This is because it’s natural to feel nervous about the wedding and you just want to do your best to let her know that everything will be alright. Then, you can offer to get coffee and help with the first outfits for the day which may include bridesmaids’ robes or gowns to get ready for makeup.

Photos will come soon after. But one important thing that the Maid of Honor will do is keep the energy positive. There are all types of personalities present when preparing for the wedding and you just want to speak grace and favor and all things good, especially on this morning. After photos, you may even want to change one more time back into robes or something more comfortable until it’s time to get ready for the wedding ceremony. You’ll likely take more photos unless your photographer prefers to do all of the bridesmaid photos at the same time.

Wedding Ceremony

At the wedding ceremony, of course, standing by the bride is the biggest task. But be prepared for anything from adjusting to weather changes and moving items to helping to fill in for ushers and walk some family members to their seats. You just never know how you will need to be helpful during the wedding ceremony as the Maid of Honor.

My recommendation is to keep your duties limited outside of being Maid of Honor. It’s enough of a task in itself. You may be tempted to sing a song for the wedding or read a passage but it’s best to let someone else in the wedding party or family members or friends perform in these roles rather than yourself. Keep it as simple as you can because you will be needed in one capacity or another and sometimes you don’t know exactly what that is until the wedding ceremony.

Wedding Reception

Closing

The responsibilities of a Maid of Honor are a labor of love but they are completely worth it. There’s nothing quite like seeing your best friend or close friend experience the happiest day of her life and you have a part in making that happen. At the end of the day, it truly is all about love. Showing love in tangible and not-so-tangible ways so that all of the wedding events, and especially the most special day of her life will be joyous.